by Kelsey Mullikin
On September 24, 2000, Kevin Hines survived the 746 ft jump into the Pacific ocean off the 1.7 mile suspension Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California. After living with diagnosed bipolar disorder for two years, the divorce of then nineteen-year-old Hines’ parents escalated the feeling of “living under a cloud.”
At thirty-seven, Hines, with a shaved head and face full of light brown freckles sits on a couch wearing a red t-shirt. His voice shakes as he recalls the depth of his pain and isolation. He reveals, “I walked across the walkway of the Golden Gate Bridge for forty minutes. Up and down, back and forth, crying like a baby. Bikers, joggers, tourists, runners; they all went by me. Police officers searching for suicidal people went by me twice. I’m leaning over the rail crying like a baby and they went by me twice. And the voice in my head said jump now and I did. At the millisecond that my hands left that rail – instant regret for my actions – and absolute recognition that I just made the greatest mistake of my life.”
Hines recalls plunging seventy feet into the water, opening his eyes, and feeling the pain like “shards of glass” from his broken legs. His voice grows strong and steady when he describes how the impact missed his spinal cord by two millimeters and allowed him to swim to the surface using only his arms.
For those who do not respond to traditional resources, the road to recovery is lengthy and tumultuous. Over the next ten years, Hines was hospitalized seven more times; the first four involuntary and the next three by his initiation. He shares his frustration and struggle of the brain in absolute and continuous battle with itself, but optimistically notes how his self awareness shifted after his seventh stay in the psych ward, expressing, “I’m going to accept that I have this disease. I’m going to fight it tooth and nail. I’m going to beat it one day at a time.” For Hines, outgrowing the mindset of having “one chance and one choice” led him to develop a regimented eating, sleeping, and exercise routine. He shares how containing his pain led to a self-implosion of rage against himself and a consequent suicide attempt.
Since the opening of the bridge in 1937 more than 1,700 people have taken their own life. Current rates show people attempting every ten days, but in August 2013 approximately one person every three days jumped, nearly all of which were killed immediately on impact.
Those who have survived the fall state they nearly all had a single plan of action. One journalist mentions, “It was the Golden Gate Bridge or nothing. They didn’t have a Plan B. ” Researchers at University of California Berkeley confirm the idea that creating safety precautions and preventive boundaries on top suicide sites positively impact the decision of someone ending their life. They found “only six percent of the 515 people who were stopped from leaping went on to kill themselves.”
The cultural epidemic of a life riddled with depression and anxiety has produced a society in which people from all age groups, races, genders, and socioeconomic classes have been profoundly infiltrated with a lifestyle of seemingly curated and administered forms of unhappiness. The decision for a culture raised in nuclear families, alongside wreckless money making hidden in the notion of economic expansion, has created a slavery of worldwide addictions to fake food, pornography, mindless entertainment, anti-social media, drug use, warfare, and money. Suicide is an epidemic because people are systematically taught to feel imprisoned despite having a choice.
For those who commit suicide, the counter effective means to find freedom, change, and relief are exclusively experienced as the infliction of premature death. The duality of human consciousness is one in which there is no quick fix to pain orfulfillment, because progress takes the will of patience and optimism. For many suffering with mental illness, the brain’s process of rewiring itself takes months, if not years, but eventually symptomsdo alleviate.
The origin of mental illness is largely due to one’s genetic makeup and can start in utero, but the conjunction with environmental disadvantages like geography and upbringing can transition brain chemistry from dormant symptoms to active. Although most mental illnesses are inevitable, behaviors of parents and children alike such as poor nutrition and sleep, exposure to toxins, substance abuse, injury, and trauma can lead to developmental changes and increase the likelihood of developing feelings of being out of control. Unfortunately, endless misdiagnoses coupled with the prescription of medications which worsen instead of improve symptoms lead to escalated thoughts and feelings of despair.
In specialized cases of depression in which the patients are resistant to traditional forms of treatments like anti-depressant drugs and psychotherapy, some professionals resort to alternative non-surgical therapies. In the past, doctors have recommended inducing seizures through electric shocks, but Dr. Jeff Daskalakis of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto suggests the benefits of streaming “a very high frequency magnetic pulse” through the brain to produce similarly positive results. In 2017, magnetic shock treatment (MST) recipient Sharon Jakab underwent a total of thirty sessions of the consistent therapy, yet mentioned she felt “lighter, less sad, and less depressed” after only a few sessions. She affirmed, “eventually the suicidal thoughts diminished.” Dr. Daskalakis specified, “Magnetic seizure therapy really evolved out of this idea that producing a seizure for therapeutic purposes is very effective in depression.”
On November 21, Canadian news program The National, reported on the case of Toronto based Sky Zazlov, a woman who received specially designed advanced therapy for major depressive disorder. In May, treatment resistant Zazlov underwent a new laser procedure after living with her condition for over seven years. With a shaved head and navy blue baseball jersey, Zazlov threw a baseball with her son outside the hospital while waiting for her doctors. She spoke about how her life has been consumed by her illness, claiming, “I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s not angering, it’s frustrating.” Doctors delineated that the lasers “heat and disrupt precise parts of the brain” to render the area debilitated. Dr. Anthony Levitt of Sunnybrook Research Institute explained, “The MRI guided focused ultrasound goes directly to that circuit, makes a cut or a lesion, and stops it from firing when it shouldn’t be firing.” The costly procedure takes over four hours, and the patient can be left waiting up to a year to feel any changes.
In 1997, a study of thirty-nine participants in the medical journal Acta Psychiatrica Scandinaviarevealed only twenty-eight percent of participants received benefit from taking an antidepressant medication, while seventy-one percent of the group felt improvement through ECT. Electroconvulsive shock therapy (ECT) has been portrayed by media as a punishment, although the life saving treatment is done under general anesthesia. The results of ECT “do not cause structural damage to the brain” and are shown to quickly improve mental state despite the effects only lasting for a short amount of time.
In addition to medications, shock treatments, and behavioral and psychotherapies, lifestyle changes through food and physical activity can drastically improve the mental function of those who suffer on a daily basis. A nutritional intake absent of processed foods, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, sugar, gluten, dairy, and meat can decrease the severity of symptoms, while the consumption of whole foods such as raw fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and whole grains can increase clarity, energy, and self-esteem.
In April of 2017, Researcher Dr. Brondino published a study observing how the impacts of exercise contributed to an effective solution in reducing the symptoms of depression for 637 patients. Of the “350 million people in the world that suffer from depression,” Brondino wrote, “the presence of mood disorders determines a significant impairment in everyday living, particularly in social functioning, work productivity, and rate of unemployment and absenteeism.” Brondino’s one month study concluded his patients did not gain cognitive benefit through physical exercise. The researchers explained high intensity exercises, multiple times per week, over a long period of time would show improved results in processing skills, memory, and reasoning.
In 1997, a Swedish case study conducted by Mats Hallgren concluded that “regular physical activity reduces the risk of depression onset and is an effective treatment for mood disorders.” The study of 40,569 adults discovered how passive activities can have increased side effects of depression compared to active activities.
In a study on the effects of exercise as a treatment to depression published on April 30, Dr. Michael Craig Miller, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School reported, “One in 10 adults in the United States struggles with depression. It manifests physically by causing disturbed sleep, reduced energy, appetite changes, body aches, and increased pain perception. It’s a hard cycle to break.” Miller explains, “Nerve cell improvement begins alleviating depression symptoms a few weeks after beginning exercising; but this is a long-term treatment, not a one time fix.”
In County Clare on Ireland’s western coast, the Cliffs of Moher span five miles in length and peak at a height of 702 ft. They are known for their stunning view of the ocean, pink and orange sunsets, and the stone O’Brien viewing tower. While recalling standing at the grassy viewing station, American tourist Joe Kennedy attests, “It was a little scary, there were no ropes, no large barriers holding people back. It was just this little concrete wall that we could easily step over. A lot of people were on the other side. There were four girls a little farther down from us just sitting on the edge above this enormous drop. There’s no chance of surviving a fall like that.”
Between 1993 and 2017, only two of sixty-six deaths had been witnessed at the landmark. Reporter Cormac MacConnell describes the somber reality of the attraction stating, “Often it is the deserted car, alone in the car park, early the following morning which tips off the locals to the possibility of a tragedy having happened again during the dark hours. Typically, too, those who take the long horrific fall leave a suicide note in their cars. It is a weird ritual by now.” Suicide as a cultural phenomenon functions as a simultaneous cause and effect of a society with poor mental health. Those who martyr their life as the ultimate means of heartache further ingrain the lie society begs people to believe; that their pain is ceaseless.
In late October 2017, reporter Gordon Deegan documented how a thirty-year volunteer of the Irish coast guard, Thomas Doherty talked twelve people down from the edge throughout his three decade long work, “from an 80-year-old woman to a woman in her 40s.” Although Doherty spoke with one woman for hours and they eventually parted ways, he recalls being part of the rescue team who discovered her body floating at the base of the cliff a week later. Deegan noted, “Over the years, Doherty has become aware of individuals travelling from as far away as Japan, the US, and Madrid to the Cliffs of Moher to take their lives.”
In 2007, Deegan reported the suicide of twenty-six year old Eileen Murphy and her four year old son, Evan’s death at the Cliff. Deegan wrote, “The alarm was raised after the mother and child failed to return to an organised bus tour” of the incident at the popular tourist attraction which brings in almost a million travellers a year.
Although rangers are notorious for keeping eyes on tourists, the emotional significance of the landmark makes preventing suicide more difficult than most popular attractions. A staff member at the cliffs reflects, “The indomitable force of the sea remains unchanged and timeless in its power.” The cliffs draw attraction to those seeking relief who feel the connotation of their death matches the sight itself. Whether it be the timeless beauty of the sea, the height of the fall, or the weight of the millions of members of society who also bear witness to the nature of the destination, taking the final plunge into the water carries the impact of one’s physical and emotional pain. Jumping is an expression of the fear, sadness, or anger they experience, yet a haunting oxymoron, as they finally feel the freedom they desperately yearn for at the expense of their own life.
On September 13, construction workers began laying groundwork for the month long steel “net” project on the Golden Gate Bridge. Made of “marine-grade woven steel, and nearly seven football fields long,” the $211 million net “will jut out 20 feet over the water” and “be positioned a full two stories—20 feet—below the bridge’s sidewalk and roadway surface.” The net may deter many, but a true cultural shift towards prevention rather than treatment is possible. By rejecting judgement and implementing effective conflict-resolution through patience and understanding, the assumptions about those who are mentally ill can translate to more empathic and connective relations as well as a higher quality of mental health for everyone.
For people who are genetically predisposed to mental illness, the fight for a life rooted in stability and progress can feel like the endurance of Sisyphus’ sentence. The conversation about mental illness across the globe, but specifically in America has gained attention in recent years due to the sheer volume of people in public and celebrity status alike dealing with the weight of a personality disorder and/or mental illness. However, the cause of most mental illnesses are still widely unknown. The National Alliance on Mental Illness estimates “twenty-six percent of homeless adults staying in shelters live with serious mental illness and an estimated forty-six percent live with severe mental illness and/or substance use disorders. Approximately seventy percent of youth in juvenile justice systems have at least one mental health condition.” Historically, the severity of treatment for those who are mentally ill is founded on assuming that those who are imprisoned, homeless, and sick are deserving. However, the unconvincing lie people have been taught will soon be an afterthought as the modern world moves forward into a community bonded on growth, inclusion, and harmony.
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